Teaching Mama: When Do We Let Children Be The Curriculum?

Teaching Mama: When Do We Let The Children Be The Curriculum?: As a teacher, I do spend enough (sometimes more than enough) effort in preparing the activities for my classes. I handle children as yo...

Curriculum Planning: Follow Your Child's Lead

As an educator, I do spend enough (sometimes more than enough) effort in preparing the activities for my classes. I handle children as young as 18 months up to 5 years old, currently and all groups are unique and very interesting.

I have my personal beliefs in being an educator. From my past training and experiences, curriculum is as important as breathing in our field. Without it, we simply can't survive our day, or worst, we just have no direction and "teaching" is less purposeful. I have designed curricula myself and was able to successfully carry out each written plan. I'm quite obsessed at following routines. That's what curricula are made of after all, for us to have a sense of goals and objectives and a sense of standard to follow. 

Curricula are sometimes biased

In spite of that, I have slowly come to a sense of rebirth that some curricula are totally biased (at least most of the time) if it is done without careful observation based on child interest. Most are teacher-centered, not child-centered. I do understand if some (or most) educators will disagree as I know the painful effort we invest to accomplish things like lesson plans. But when should we stop making our own plans on what we what our child to "learn"? The answer is NOW. 

Expect the unexpected

I always have this encounter with my youngest class. They always surprise me with their uncanny reactions to what has been prepared for the day! It's interesting how terrified they become with a simple mask that's posted on the board for them to decorate! 

Here's what happened:

I prepared masks for each one of them to decorate however they like it. The plan was to make them spread some glue, sprinkle some glitters, post some tiny papers around it, fill it with colors and just be creative (Teacher-centered-not good). Perhaps (I was ready for this) crumple the mask or simply tear it. So I came to class excited and ready to give away their materials!Oh boy! Have I totally lost my senses and made them feel terrified with my superhero mask upon entering the room?!?! Yes, kind of. They got scared of me. I was excited. I had a very huge smile. They were horribly scared. They started to get cranky and cried. 

Educator's role

What's an educator to do when your plan just didn't end or should I say, start up the way you anticipated it? Plan B. switch hats and just guide them on something that may spark their interest. If I insisted on my planned activity because that's what has been written on the curriculum, then I fail as an educator. Being compliant to your plans is one thing, but insisting on something that did not interest them is another thing. It is like forced-feeding a child that is already very upset yet you don't stop the feeding. Isn't it disgraceful? That's what happened in one of my classes. In fact, it happens to all teachers too. But the trick is be observant and intentional. My role as an educator is not to "teach" them what I think they need to learn. My role is to observe and guide them, to set up invitations to learning that is of their interests, not mine, not the ones being planned, and to finally trust them to lead the way.  

So instead of masks, they excitedly rolled up the bottled water filled with food coloring, 

slammed their body on it pretending it to be a bowling ball (dizzy play), 

while another one was keeping herself amused with her shadows !! 

and color mixing always saves the day! They're happy. I'm satisfied. They learn in a non-threatening way. They explored based on what interests them and they got engaged because they chose their own activity not what has been planned.

So here's my take on curriculum, we made them, teachers do prepare them (teacher-centered). But sometimes (in fact, it's always), it's just not right. 

Learning is limitless

In the area of learning, we can't contain it and give limits to it by telling a child what they need to lear, dictating what they should explore. I value every single thing a child does in child care centres, from shaking liquids to pouring sand on the floor. Isn't it amazing how some things that look interesting to us aren't always as interesting to them? How a simple leaf can provoke their curiosity? 

Embracing changes

I have an unrelenting faith in today's early childhood education, and I have seen a massive (positive) change in this generation compared to mine. In spite of the rigid practices in teaching during my time, I came to be who I am today. Some teaching methods that are being practiced in other countries now are slowly gaining popularity and in fact giving impact to early childhood industry. As time evolves, we can't always stick to what has been, let's embrace change and be open to new challenges in the field of early childhood education. 

Teaching Mama: Respectful Parenting - A Precursor To A Happy Child...

Teaching Mama: Respectful Parenting: A Precursor To A Happy Child...: A lot of instances in our parenting lives we are faced with quite a colossal degree of confusion, anger, annoyance or irritability wh...

Respectful Parenting - A Precursor To A Happy Childhood

A lot of instances in our parenting lives we are faced with quite a colossal degree of confusion, anger, annoyance or irritability when our little toddler presses all the right buttons. It has never been a fun part of parenthood especially when we reach the point of questioning our capabilities as parents. Arguments with little people seemed odd to me until I had to do it almost everyday of my life as a mother and as an educator. It has never been an easy journey for me, notwithstanding my early childhood education teaching experience, I still have enough amount of struggles on how to appropriately address some encounters without ending it in a non-painful disagreements, as much as I can. 

I do have quite a number of ideas on how to handle young children before I became a teacher and a mother. At least I have gathered some on how I was being raised by my own parents. It was easy to determine what were the things I dislike when my parents disciplined me, surely I won't apply it to my own kids. But those collective knowledge I thought were enough, were surely not. Even years in dealing with children is truly not an assurance that you 'always' do the right thing, because we don't 'always' do it by ourselves. We do it together with another "person." The difference is, we are not always the ones who are involved in every case, and we have no right in any way to control or be in authority just because we want so doesn't mean that's how things are going to be. I don't mean to say that we always 'agree' or condone what our children wants. Authority is a very classic word when it comes to parenting and for me, it has a negative twin end.

What I missed in my collective knowledge is how to do respectful parenting. What is it exactly and how do we do it? There could be a lot of instances when we just have to let things be because inevitably we get tired and our patience is just wearing very thinly at the end of the day that it can break so easily with just one more word of demand. At that point, we lose our minds and end up yelling or throwing things and ironically we're the ones throwing fits or having a parental meltdown (except that we don't roll on the floor), funny to think that we also have those lapses as adults, yes, as adults. From that context, we can understand why children also have those moments, because they also get tired and simply confused how to manage their own emotions--as young people. Therefore, the very power that we have is how to do things with all due respect, and being the ones who are more capable of dealing with emotions, it is our job to initiate how to establish respect in our relationship as parents to our children. It is not a very easy action plan. It takes a lot of time, patience and practice especially when we 'assume' that we are the one in 'authority.' That's where the difficulty comes in, the moment we believe that we are in 'authority' it is easy to break respect, and young children lacks this skill to be always respectful, but we adults--I assume, we don't. 

Respectful parenting is a concept that I learned from Magda Gerber, an early childhood educator, who defies the odds of traditional education and classic parenting, with all the right reasons. Her works are mostly linear to establishing respect to young infants and perceive them as a whole person, not a baby. I have applied most of her concepts myself and I still am currently "in practice."  In my experience applying her concepts, I would testify how almost "magical" it is. I don't need to argue with my sweetcakes when it's time to sleep, I just need to ask her calmly and listen to her reasons why she can't do things just yet, from there, we work on whatever works and agree. Sometimes, we just can't always agree and it's something that we have to live with in our lives, settle with disagreements calmly. It is our role, to initiate how to calmly handle disagreements. At the same time, we don't conceal real emotions, if it something that really entails deep emotional expression, let it be, but as parents, we have this responsibility to acknowledge real feelings, we neither hide nor distract it. We simply accept these emotions as they are, so let's take leadership in showing our children that strong emotions do happen and we don't need to panic when these occur. 

Here is a short clip on how I managed to establish respectful parenting dismissing the idea that I am the one in authority. 

In case the video doesn't play, let me explain what happened. 

In that video, it was bed time but she was still enjoying the music video that she was watching. To carefully establish that respect, I need to ask her calmly and remind her that it's bedtime. She gave me an assertive response that the video was not finished yet. I knew she still wants to watch it. My role here was not to imply that I am her mother and that she needs to follow my orders. I simply had to provide an option for her that we can agree on something. In this case, I asked her that whenever the video is finished, can we turn it off? With a smile on her face, she responded positively with a nod and a soft yes. She then came near me and asked

"later?"

Should I insisted on turning it off dismissing her possible response, it would have ended with a negative and painful disagreement. She might cry for not being listened to or she might cry simply because she felt disrespected. That's where we can draw the line from being disrespectful parents to a respectful and loving parents. It was not condoning neither agreeing to what she only wants, it was called respect. 

We can always initiate and provide opportunities for our young children to respond to us. However we do it, respect has always been a catalyst in every great relationship. In all confusing emotions our young children experience, it is our role to proactively take leadership in responding to all these emotions. we don't need to provide quick solutions to make them always feel comfortable. Let us provide opportunities for them to appropriately work on things and not finish things for their comfort. Let's all practice respectful parenting. It may not go as smoothly in the first 3-50th attempt, what is important is, they feel loved, listened to and respected which is an active precursor to a happy childhood.    

The Toilet UN-Training

In my profession as an early childhood educator, I have long seen parents who want their kids to be on their own at a very young age. Some want their kids to roll on the floor, sit on a chair, walk, run, jump, talk and whatnot. Unfortunately, pooping has never escaped from those parental aspirations to their infants! I say infants. Yes you've read me, INFANTS!

Experts have this intelligent term for this, they call it 'milestone.' I call it 'readiness.'

One fine morning I was on my check-up with my obgyne. His secretary humbly-bragged about her child started going to the toilet at age 1. At least her child turned toddlerhood learning that skill to go to the toilet on her own. I say bravo to her!  But I dont know what was the story behind nor does it matter to me. When my daughter came into this world, I remember that secretary's awesome story about her child. I had this wishful thinking, I hope that'll happen to my child too! I have read some Hollywood celebrities about their own child being toilet-trained as early as 5 months! That prompted me to ask myself, 'hey! what's going on with the world!"

Confusion sets-in. My faith about my profession in early childhood went from being knowledgeable to questionable. True indeed, when it comes to your own, a lot of things are going on. It seems like your own knowledge as a teacher are also put into test! I wondered should I toilet-train, should I buy a potty-trainer, should I wake her up in the middle of her sleep to pee, should I apply the 15-minute bladder-break....those things came in. But there was one thing that made me define that thin line between mothering and teaching. I stopped and let go.

In school, I was faced with parents who loved to give us love letters of time-schedules on their child without considering our class schedules happening everyday. Aside from our routines, we had to check if that child had peed on time instructed to us by their dear parents. I know, I know, it sounded so daunting. But what to do, we are also somehow responsible for "teaching" these kids to "know" when to poop or pee! (But really, it against my personal belief).

Back to my personal experience, there was an episode that I had to let her sit on the toilet every 15-30 minutes. But after few attempts, I felt I was distracting her. I felt I was running her world. I did not put so much belief on her own sense of readiness. Well, it was kinda disrespectful I did not like it.

Before she turned 18months, she already passed motion on the toilet bowl. Since infancy, we always run to the toilet (adult toilet bowl) to let her poop. I couldn't say if that was wrong or not, but it somehow gave me the idea that whatever the child gets used to (including pooping on the toilet), that doesn't really hurt them. In my case, running to the toilet was not a strict training that I wanted to implement on her, but it was something that I associate to hygiene issue. From then on, she loved to poop in the toilet without me forcing her and giving her the fear to sit down on that huge toilet bowl.

Here comes the peeing part. I really did not bother about it. I wasn't even expecting her to get diaper-weaned as early. She did it by herself and always asked me to bring her to the toilet to pee by age 2. Before she successfully slept overnight without nappies on, I had to take off her diaper at night to avoid diaper-rash, but that practice made her not wanting to just pee-away all night. She pees before bedtime and pees first thing upon waking up. There was no soiled bed, no soiled blankets or pillows. However, there was a lot of cleaning and wiping on the floor every now and then before her successful nappy-weaning. Until such time she learned that making me clean after she pees on the floor is not giving a happy-time to mommy! She rewarded me by telling me to pee everytime she wants!

From then on, I already had to cut my diaper budget for her each month!

Just have faith, and do a little bit of a trick to assist them get away with nappies...you'll get there without a fuss!

Angel’s First School

My belief in early childhood education has evolved through time. I taught first in a school with special needs program. Later on, I became a head in a school with a Montessori program. Soon enough, I got into another child care centre which allowed 14 kids in one classroom without an assistant! But those days were my childless days.But I didnt have so much problem understanding young kids and parents. What I didnt realize was that it wasn’t an in depth understanding about parents and kids and their relationship. I knew it was important but its importance never sank to my deepest core until I got to have my own child.

Being in the field of Early Childhood Education back then was just a plain good work. A work to which I get paid, I taught, I talked to parents, I gave orientations, I was good at being a teacher and a branch head teacher. I knew my employers were truly impressed how much skills I possessed and my works were appreciated not only by the employers themselves but by my previous students’ parents.

One time, there was a parent who quite disliked the way I handled her child. I was working back then in Jakarta, Indonesia and I was an expat who headed that school branch. I was expected to deliver to a certain degree of excellency. But this mom had a problem with me. My pride as an expat got quite insulted (and I’ve got too much of it when I was at my career prime–which is deadly!). I didn’t do anything to her child. I didn’t hit him or yelled at him. Before kids are enrolled in our school they are given assessments. We are then informed which child is new or those who have some food allergies or anything that concerns the child, we need to be informed. This child had no issues or whatsoever, he was a plain new student. That’s where the problem came in. Her son could not stop crying and he just disliked school so much. He never wanted to dress up and get ready for school and just wasn’t interested! Days went by, the mom got skeptical. She developed an issue with me, as her child’s  main teacher.

I knew her son was a “cryola” (our vernacular for a child who keeps crying). But I did not pay much attention to his needs. I never attempted to create a warm and comfortable place for him. I continued to carry on with other kids and I was a plain uninviting teacher to her son. I never paid much attention what needs to be done. I knew it was only a phase that her son went through as newbie in a school environment. I wasn’t the charming, happy teacher to her son. I was the teacher giving a flat affect whenever her son comes around.

It didn’t take long, her son got settled on his own. He was no longer crying and he successfully passed that phase. I was happy. He was happy. Mom eventually got very happy. But was I doing my job right? I will let you judge me on that, but only until you become a teacher yourself, will I give you that credit..

Now the tables are turned. I recently joined the club of parents who just enrolled their child in school. Being an educator myself was not enough, truly not enough to understand what it meant for parents to hear the discomfort cries of their child inside the school. My luck gave me a darn sadistic payback. She was enrolled in the same school I worked! It was a  head-on turn of events. Now, if only those parents knew I was going through the same sh+t they felt, they’d all give me a revengeful laugh.

First day…

It was a painful picture to look…. (but now, I’m no longer that disturbed to allow myself to laugh!!)

This made me fume up quite a bit…I developed a slight feeling that by the look of this picture, she was forced and was scared of the paint! The truth is, my colleague was just so good at documenting that she was able to tell the whole story of the entire period through the still images she captured! And NO, she was neither forced, nor scared. She just disliked separating from me .

Second day…I pulled her out. My mind was just going crazy and I couldn’t work!Third Day…wow she’s participating finally!!!

Nahh..the truth is…I was her teacher! So that wasn’t counted!

Fifth day….She started to lighten up. I moved her to afternoon group because I felt the necessity…That’s when I knew and realized, sometimes, it’s not only about teachers. It could also be that your child is just not feeling her group.

Her sixth day, she was awesome!

Evolving With Early Childhood Care

Welcome!

This blog mainly talks about early childhood developments, parenting and other related issues and concerns regarding early childhood topics. I write based on my own personal experiences as an Early Childhood Educator and my own journey of mothering my own two year old daughter. This blog will also talk a lot about how the world of early childhood education has evolved so much from the past generations, the benefits of child-centered learning and some drawbacks of traditional learning methods.

My personal journey as a mother and an educator helped me gain a lot of understanding the dynamics and complexities of young children. There were a number of instances that my experience dealing with young children’s limit-pushing behaviors did not in any way worked when it comes to dealing with my own toddler and being an experienced educator did not suit me well ‘handling’ my own daughter, children are not at all the same and strategies are not one-size-fits-all concept…

Join me as I share some of my personal success stories, upsetting and victorious moments of motherhood and other interesting stuff that goes in the roller coaster world of parenting!

I welcome all parents, educarers, early childhood professionals and caregivers and all readers that find my blog interesting and helpful….

I do not intend to give professional or medical advice based on my personal experiences as a mother and an early childhood educator. Any content in my blog that you may find offensive or hurtful to your practices of belief, you are free to unfollow me. Anything that I share are all based from my learning experiences in early childhood education in practice and in my personal journey of motherhood.